After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
