DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
