I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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