also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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