Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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