you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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