Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
