i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
