Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
