So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
