Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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