haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
