I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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