yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think i have herpe
just one?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
