Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
