what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
