I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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