Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
