so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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