you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
