So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
