Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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