walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
