In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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