bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
