Church boner. Awkwardddd
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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