do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
