I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
