Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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