Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
