Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
