I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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