My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
