drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the day after is always just damage control
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
