they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
