Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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