I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We got so high we made milksteak
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
