Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
