are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
