We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
