I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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