just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
