and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
