I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Boobs are out for the taking
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
