you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
