Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
