we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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