Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you have to choose: penises or morals?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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