I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
