i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
