i don't like sucking hair
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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