just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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