I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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