she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He did a backflip because drugs
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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