i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
