I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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