Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
