her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Mom said you looked used
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
