Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he quoted the bible to break up with me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
